I am writing this as I sit in my hammock, listening to the locusts, to Pinta and Zulu’s puppy love fights, and to the sounds of my neighbors all carrying on different conversations, in different languages. It’s funny how something that used to be so foreign, is now so familiar, and something so familiar, is now so foreign.
A new life, a new start
When I came to Costa Rica, I was looking for a new life, a new start….a new me. The old me was struggling, unhappy, and out of alignment. My issues were caused by numerous things, the climate, the city, the traffic, old tired shit that kept resurfacing….you name it. Oh, and not to mention the Anusara yoga community which I was deeply invested in collapsed. During this time I watched my friends and teachers tear one another apart, piece by piece, day by day. Relationships that were built over a decade, were dissolved in a moment.
Creation and dissolution
As I watched this all go down, I decided that this was a great time to get the frick out of dodge. I wanted no part of this war that was being fought….amazing how quickly things can get out of hand…even between people who are supposed to be opening their hearts, and their minds on a daily basis. I thought by removing myself from all of this, it would somehow protect me from this type of behavior. But, the reality is, that as we move through life, relationships will be created….and dissolved…within the blink of an eye.
Order to Chaos
In order for rebirth to occur….death is innevitable….as painful as the process my be….it is however nescesary if we wish to continue to grow and evolve. And even if we are quite happy we are, and do not wish to engage in this process, the universe will not allow it, considering it expresses itself entropicly…..order to chaos. As soon as we get everything in optimal alignment, put all the pieces in what we think to be the right place…..it breaks itself apart…..again….and again.
Political yoga bullshit
The really nice thing about being here, is that I have removed myself from all of the political yoga bullshit….from the scholarly debates over which tradition is right….or left, or whether or not to stand with your feet together, or to keep them apart. And for the first time in almost ten years, I have been exploring my practice guided by me, which has been quite different from the constant tutelage that has grown me into the teacher that I am today.
All guilty and all innocent
I have sat back and observed all of this, trying my best to remain diplomatic, waving my white flag…por favor…no mas! But when people’s feelings get hurt, when livelihoods are threatened, shit get’s ugly. We are all guilty, and all innocent….we have all hurt, and been hurt. Two sides to the same coin….Kali and Sri.
The process of rebirth
What I haven’t removed myself from, is the process of rebirth….as much as I have tried to run from it, to hide from it, to battle it, to ride it, to continually to dodge it, it always finds me….even in the jungle…in a remote location…without traffic jams. The beauty of the rebirth, as painful as it may be, is that we get to reinvent ourselves in a way that illustrates, the lessons that we have learned, and the things in which we wish to create. Like a pupa in a chrysalis we begin the transformation process and eventually unfold, and unfurl into a new vibrant creation.
Surfing….the best therapy money can’t buy!
During this painful and beautiful process, I have found learning to surf some of the best therapy money can’t buy. The ocean has been my teacher, my friend, my companion, and my guide. Her lessons are a mixture of pleasure and pain, victory and triumph. She whispers sweet nothing’s, and then rips my safety device out from under me, and makes me swim into retrieve it! She asks me to hold bhujangasana, as I charge through the barreling waves, and then kicks the shit out of me! Followed by a moment of bliss, when you taste the sweetness of riding her spiraling vortex.
My love affair
I also must give credit, where is due. I know without a doubt in my mind, my love affair with yoga, with Anusara, and with the philosophy that is so intricately woven through it, has most certainly assisted my transformation into an ocean loving, wave riding banshee!
Catalyst for your latest creation
So, if you’re in need of an adventure, and a catalyst to propel you into your latest creation, where you can experience the freedom of practicing yoga in the jungle, the exhilaration of riding your first wave, and the opportunity to connect with some down to earth, good people….Shaka is where it’s at! My next retreat is in November, please check it out! http://solalunayoga.com/retreats/